Rediscovering Wonder
Practicing the discipline of reading in order.
by Kristen Pittman
It’s confession time.
Not long ago I caught myself committing what many view as a cardinal sin of reading. In the middle of a story, I was skipping ahead to skim the final pages of the book I was reading. Only after discovering the ending was satisfactory did I go back to my bookmark and complete the rest.
Truthfully, this incident wasn’t the first time I’ve skipped ahead. For a while, skipping ahead was a habit. Until recently, it was a habit I thought I had long since dropped.
Now, I’m not here to debate the merits of reading every word in the actual order the author intended. Many respectable readers come down on both sides of the debate. (Though if you want to add your two cents to the comments, who am I to stop you?) But I have been forced to examine my compulsion to skip the middle unless the ending suits me, and here’s the conclusion I’ve reached: uncertainty is hard.
That’s not a news flash. I don’t know many people who jump at the chance to live with lots of uncertainty. Still, in a season when uncertainty of all sorts loomed large in real life, it seems I couldn’t take that same tension in my reading life. So, I skipped.
Is the story slow to get going? Skip to the last third and read a few pages to ensure continuing won’t be a waste of time. Is a character I’m particularly fond of being threatened? Skip to the end to make sure she’s still in the picture. Do I think I have the plot all figured out, the problem solved already? Skip to the final chapter to fact check.
In some ways, knowing that a story ends well can make the reading experience more enjoyable. Reading without the tension of wondering can make the exercise the escape it truly needs to be in stressful seasons of life. In others, skipping ahead is just a way of smoothing over good tension with instant gratification. And in those instances, skipping robs me of wonder.
Not only am I robbed of wonder, I’m also robbed of the thrill and joy that come along with discovery in its proper time. When I first kicked the habit of skipping ahead, I found I was most delighted by the stories when I didn’t see the end coming. So lately, I have once again been refusing to skip to the end.
Here’s what reading a book from start to finish is teaching me this time around. Sometimes wonder is a fairy spreading rainbows across fluffy white clouds floating in an azure sky. Isn’t it obviously amazing? Other times it’s like a kid spray painting a long slash across a blank wall and turning to stare at me with a quirked eyebrow and a questioning smirk. What do you think it’s going to be: art or vandalism?
Whether I like it or not, the thing that makes wonder work is a healthy dose of uncertainty. Sometimes that feels like magic. Sometimes it feels like a grind. In both cases, choosing the discipline of reading every line and chapter in its proper order, even when I desperately want to skip ahead, helps me learn to live with tension instead of jumping to the instant gratification of a quick fix. It helps me rediscover the thrill of wonder.
In this way, as it so often does, reading becomes a training ground for real life, too.
June 24, 2025 - Release of mystery novel for older readers by Katherine Ladny Mitchell, Not to Be
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This is the day I remember
how much I forget
year after year,
and I write a little poem
so I won’t forget again,
even though I know I will,
even though the surprise
is part of the joy.
Jen Rose Yokel, “Suddenly, Spring”
Growing up I had this debate with my mom many times. She would skip ahead to see how things would end and I flatly refused. I would read late into the night to finish a book, but I would never skip. The only time I broke the rule was with The Road. I did google to see if someone made it. If he didn’t, I wasn’t going to finish. But that was a book that I would not have chosen for myself (it was for a bookclub).
I am guilty of this, too, especially if it's a mystery. But I love what you said about letting the tension stand.